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Like it says in Ecclesiastes, to everything there is a season. In the fall, it's time to get the warm clothes out of storage and gear up for The Holidays. And when you're young, it's time to make travel plans to visit your parents -- but when you're older and you have your own family, you will inevitably start hosting your own holiday celebrations.
Turkey Day Is Tricky
In many ways, Thanksgiving is the trickiest of all holidays to host, because it requires specialized skills: most crucially, cooking and diplomacy (not necessarily in that order). Trying to recreate Mom's legendary stuffing can be nerve-wracking; trying to produce a tasty facsimile of it while simultaneously juggling the preparation of six other dishes, while also politely acknowledging your sister-in-law's "useful" advice, can lead you near to a nervous breakdown.
A Few Helpful Tips
In order to pull off a Thanksgiving that's memorable for both good food and good company, here are a few guidelines:
- In the kitchen, keep it simple -- and traditional. The is not the time to be experimenting with that truffle-aioli-pesto stuffing recipe that you saw in Gourmet Magazine. In fact, don't try to make anything that you've never made before -- except for the Thanksgiving classics, whose preparation has been so throughly tested and codified down through the years that it's hard to mess them up too badly.
I would suggest not attempting ones that you've pulled from newspapers, magazines, or the Internet. Instead, plan well ahead of time by asking people whose cooking skills you trust to share their favorite Thanksgiving recipes with you.
- Time management is the key to turning out any successful dinner, but even more so for Thanksgiving. At any other dinner party, you can stage your serving in courses, but for Thanksgiving, it's traditional to serve everything at once. Making sure that all of the dishes are ready for serving simultaneously and be nerve-wracking, but thankfully (so to speak...), most Thanksgiving dishes can sit around for a while without suffering a loss in tastiness.
Make as many dishes as possible the day before; pies and mashed potatoes will do fine in your refrigerator overnight, and can then be quickly warmed up before mealtime. (To loosen up the mashed potatoes while re-heating them, stir in a little milk.) Avoid going the re-heating route with the vegetable side dishes, though; only the British like their veggies limp and soggy.
If you don't have enough oven and stove space to keep everything warm as mealtime approaches, you can use crock pots, toaster ovens, and that caterer's best friend, Sterno.
- Pro tip: a sideboard can make a huge difference in serving food (and getting seconds) quickly and efficiently. Pretty much any small table can be pressed into service as a sideboard; even an ugly folding table can be covered with a nice tablecloth.
It's All About Togetherness
- Aim for a mid-afternoon mealtime; I like 4pm for a Thanksgiving meal, even though I usually prefer eat dinner around 7pm. This maximises the visiting time, and allows guests who need to get home early enough to to get a good night's sleep the option to do so.
- I've found that the best holidays cover as many generations as possible. If you can have grandparents, infants, and as many ages in between as possible in attendance, you have the ingredients for some truly satisfying family time. (As well as some excellent photos.)
- Remove any televisions from common areas. This may be controversial decision, especially in a family full of football fanatics, but trust me on this: television is a guaranteed conversation killer. As memorable as this year's games may be, they won't be as memorable as quality time with your relatives. Sure, someone will insist on checking up on the games -- so send them into a TV-equipped bedroom to watch.
... and Hospitality
- While setting up dessert, also put out cookies on your coffee/side tables, and brew up plenty of coffee (don't forget the decaf), hot water for tea, and hot cocoa for the kids. When your satisfied guests leave the table and sprawl in your living room, this will encourage them to linger, and put the final touch of hospitality on the evening.
- Put out some family photo albums. They are the exact opposite of television: they're a sure-fire conversation starter. Older guests in particular love to look through them.
- A few Thanksgiving decorations -- especially a dining-table centerpiece -- and some flowers around your home can make a huge difference. It's not just a matter of aesthetics; guests seem to find it easier to relax when they see these little hosting touches: it reassures them that you have everything under control. (For some reason, flowers in the bathroom are particularly effective in this regard.)
- Give the kids something to do! If there are multiple children in attendance, you will probably find that they will instantly form a semi-feral tribe and completely ignore the adults, while spreading mayhem throughout your house. However, in case their creativity in amusing themselves flags, be sure to have some board games available. A TV with a DVD player and some age-appropriate discs (in a separate space from the football TV!) is also a sure-fire child magnet.
If your child is the only little one in attendance, though, you will need some more preparation: enlist a family member to take on primary child-monitoring-and-amusement responsibility -- bribe them, if necessary. You and your partner do not want to be juggling the complex business of producing a Thanksgiving meal with constant child care.
- Finally, never refuse any help. Your family will be much happier having contributed then they will be passively watching you impressively sweat off ten pounds while insisting on doing everything yourself.
One Final Note
Don't panic. You can't control everything, and you shouldn't try to. As long as you provide good food and a comfortable atmosphere, you've done your part.
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