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I was 19 and my wife had just turned 18 when we married. We had been dating since high school and I was just starting my first semester of college, so it seemed like the perfect time. Our honeymoon was a road trip across the United States in four days. We settled into our new home quickly; I started school immediately and we both took on full time jobs to pay the bills.Then, about a month later, we found out we were about five and a half months pregnant.
Needless to say, we were both very surprised, but the past four (almost five) years have been nothing short of fantastic. Here are my tips for young dads:
1. Use your momentum - if you're a young dad like me, you weren't even close to being done school when you became a father. Don't let having a child stop your momentum...finish what you started, as long as it doesn't interfere with your ability to be a good dad. Your child is going to need your time and attention and should be your first priority but education has come a long way and now there are entire degrees that you can get on the internet or through local campuses.
2. Find some friends - young dads need friends who are there to support them. Find some friends that have kids the same age as yours because you already have something in common. Let your kids play together. Take them to the ball game together. Talk about what your kids are doing. Your friends may be quite a bit older than you (most guys with kids my age are near 30, and I'm 23) but that can be a good thing...they have several more years under their belts and can be very good examples for young dads.
3. Read the books - your wife/girlfriend will probably go right out and buy books about parenting. Read them. "What To Do When You're Expecting" is actually a pretty interesting read. So are the other books in that series. Make sure you're an informed parent.
4. Find a mentor - this kind of goes along with finding friends, but a mentor is more than just a friend. Find somebody who you respect, trust, and can learn from. Young dads need good examples to teach them the principles that will form a solid foundation to build a life on. Mentors can help young dads land good jobs. Mentors can help young dads meet up with people who can perform valuable services.
5. Put family first - young dads are still trying to adjust to adulthood. That makes it very enticing to go hang out with friends at all hours of the night, act like a caveman, go the bar, and/or waste time doing "fun stuff". Cut back a little bit. It's important to have fun, but don't let your family suffer for the sake of a few chuckles. Find ways to have fun with your family and get them involved in things you like to do. It can take time to adjust to the new lifestyle, but there will come a day when you realize that your main goal in life is to make your child happy and safe (which will in turn make you happy). Do things that benefit your child and you'll do something good for yourself at the same time.
It's certainly not a complete list, but these five points are a good start toward developing a firm foundation to build a family on. No better time to learn them than when you're young!
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