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We went out of town for a little retreat last weekend. Sunday (Father’s Day) was spent both goofing off at the pool and trying to calm down a fussy baby. The polar differences of activities over the weekend made me think about the popular conception (among people who don’t have children) that life is less exciting after you are burdened with progeny. I know that I felt this way before I had kids. Now I look back and think that my pre-child life was actually not that interesting. Life was generally a plain with the occasional hill now and then. Toss in a kid or two and your life suddenly has some topography.
We went out of town for a little retreat last weekend. Sunday (Father’s Day) was spent both goofing off at the pool and trying to calm down a fussy baby. The polar differences of activities over the weekend made me think about the popular conception (among people who don’t have children) that life is less exciting after you are burdened with progeny. I know that I felt this way before I had kids. Now I look back and think that my pre-child life was actually not that interesting. Life was generally a plain with the occasional hill now and then. Toss in a kid or two and your life suddenly has some topography.
The low points before I had kids were at best, boredom, and at worst youthful angst. Low points now are much more… interesting. Coping with a colicky baby every day for a couple of months makes that youthful angst look like a vacation. Getting up at 3 a.m. to change a poopy diaper and soothe your kid back to sleep (maybe), all without ever actually waking up myself, has proven to be quite an act. All of this has made me strong and resilient for the still greater trials that are coming over the next few years.
The high points of pre-parenthood pale in comparison to the post-parenthood peaks as well. Watching your children take their first steps, say that they love you, fall asleep in your arms, to name a few, cannot be compared to anything else in terms of pure joyful reward.
Do I miss those days of happy hours, late night movies, spur-of-the moment travel, or even just being on time, having clothes that don’t have baby schmutz on them, and taking a nap on the weekend? Of course I do! I didn’t even need a nap before I had kids and now I can’t fit one in. But I would, and have, traded all of them for the roller coaster ride of parenting. Up, down, loop-the-loop, put your hands in the air and scream.
My Father’s Day Low Point: Finding out that the baby could not stand to be in the hotel room. I don’t mean during the day or when we stopped to get something, but all day and all night. Sleep only occurred after she was too tired to cry any more or while she was being pushed around in the stroller.
My Father’s Day High Point: Playing one-on-one basketball in the pool with my four year old. We took a halftime break and played a little one-on-one dodgeball, then went back and finished the game. He won. The game also gave me the Proud Daddy Moment of the weekend: When my son climbed out of the pool to shoot a basket from behind the backboard he slipped and fell as he let go of the ball. He came around the from in back of the board holding his hand over a cut on his arm. I expected a "daddy I hurt myself" and for the game to be over, but instead he said "Did I make it in the basket?"
It was a perfect shot, thanks for a great Father's Day.
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Oh the roller coaster ride!!
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