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After a nice stretch of peace and joy, the time has come for my toddler son to start wielding his favorite word: no. It seems that over the past year with the advent of his mobility he has heard us say no to him enough that he’s come to know the meaning of it quite clearly. And now it seems that at least once a day I have a fight on my hands.
In many ways this transition has been more about me than my
son. Everyone will have to go through this at some point in time. But as he as
branched out it has been up to me, as a first time father, to get a few things
straight.
First off, I’ve had to set aside the initial reaction of “oh
how cute” and get down to putting some very important boundaries on him during
this very important time in his development. Of course he’s going to see just
what he can do and what he can’t. And he’s forced me to raise my voice at him
on more than one occasion.
I felt bad at first, mainly because he is my baby boy and I
want to do everything I can to make him happy and healthy. But after a short
period of time I came to realize that keeping him out of things, making sure he
doesn’t hit or bite, and getting him to bed on time, despite his protests, are
just as important to his development as is physical affection and the other
positive aspects of raising a child.
Lately I have had help in reaching the conclusion that
getting tough with him on certain issues will make for a better behaved and
well-rounded child.
My wife and I go to restaurants and other public places and
witness, as many parents probably have, the wonderful sight of a poorly behaved
child. It’s the one who is allowed to scream, run around or get into things without
much, if any, supervision.
This can be disruptive if not rude, because let’s face it,
not everyone thinks our kids are as cute as we do.
Seeing scenes such as these have helped me understand that
avoiding being “that” parent with “that” child, can start at home. Even though
my son is 18 months old and very cute, I know that saying no now can help me
and him get on the right track.
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